Not That You Care

Here is a link I found about how the average person spends their day:
http://www.bls.gov/news.release/atus.nr0.htm

It is pretty much what you would expect. I will give you the basic jest of it.

Average Day:
Sleep - 8.6 hrs
Leisure - 5.1 hrs
Work - 3.8 hrs
Housework - 1.8 hrs
Remaining Time - 4.7hrs (includes eating, shopping, education, grooming, etc)

Oh how I would long to have the average day. Below I am going to list my average weekday, not that it matters or that it would be that accurate since it does not include the weekend.

Sleep - 7.5 hrs (usually 2am/3am - 9:30am/10:30am)
Work - 8 hrs (3 hrs of class, 2-3hrs homework, 1-2hrs of group meetings, 1 random hour of commuting 1 mile to campus and showing up appx 10 minutes early to class)
Housework - .5 hrs (usually dishes or bed making is all that gets done during the week, laundry and more extensive cleaning is left for the weekend)
Remaining Time - 5 hr (1.5hrs of eating, 1hr of cleaning between morning and night shower, 1.5hrs of being pissed I have homework to do and not actually doing it but getting no joy out of the activities I am doing, 1hr phone/IM)
Leisure - 3hr ( 2hrs spent lifting plus usually 2hrs/wk running, leaving an addition 1 hr for actual leisure)

Yes, I know you didnt care.

Santa and Stupid Consultants

Santa Claus is coming to town -- for 34 microseconds Mon Dec 3, 11:34 AM ET

STOCKHOLM (AFP) - Christmas is hectic for all but particularly for Santa, who must live in Kyrgyzstan and make his rounds at lightning speed if he is to deliver gifts to all the world's children on time, a Swedish consultancy has concluded.

Between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Santa Claus's route around the planet includes stops at 2.5 billion homes, assuming that children of all religions receive a present from the jolly man in the red suit, Anders Larsson of the engineering consultancy Sweco told AFP.

"We estimated that there are 48 people per square kilometer (120 per square mile) on Earth, and 20 metres (66 feet) between each home. So if Santa leaves from Kyrgyzstan and travels against the Earth's rotation he has 48 hours to deliver all the presents," he said.

Father Christmas has long been believed to reside at the North Pole, although a number of northern towns, including Finnish Rovaniemi, claim to be his true home.

But Sweco's report on Santa's most efficient route -- which takes into account factors like geographic density and the fewest detours -- shows that he wouldn't be able to make his round-the-world trip from there in time.

"He has 34 microseconds at each stop" to slide down the chimney, drop off the presents, nibble on his cookies and milk and hop back on his sleigh, Larsson said.

Santa's reindeer must travel at a speed of 5,800 kilometers (3,604 miles) per second to make the trip on time.

Another report circulating on the Internet suggested however that Santa's sleigh, weighed down with presents and travelling at supersonic speed, would encounter such massive air resistance that the entire contraption would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

This article is was originally posted at: Yahoo News.

Some consultants really have nothing to do aey? I wonder how much these people got to come up with this hypothetical situation, I mean really who wants to know this. And secondly, Santa living in Krygystan, really?....... really?

Who writes this stuff. If Santa lives in Krygystan instead of the North Pole, why dont they just have him have 2.5 million Inspector Gadget Go-Go Gadget Arms and deliver all the gifts simultaneously. I like that scenario a lot better than Santa living in Krygystan and bursting into flames after fractions of a second attempting to deliver toys.

Interview at the Firm...

There was a job opening in the country's most
prestigious law firm and it finally comes down to
Robert and Paul.

Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both
come from good families. Both are equally attractive
and well spoken. It's up to the senior partner to
choose one, so he takes each candidate aside and asks,
"Why did you become a lawyer?

Only seconds after talking to them both, he chooses
Paul.

Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside after the interview.
"I don't understand why I was rejected. When Mr.
Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that
I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay
down my life for the Constitution and that all I
wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the
world did you tell him?"

"I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Paul
replies.

"Your hands? What do you mean?"

"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any
money in either of them!"

Hilarious letter to Bill Gates

This is one hilarious letter from some Bob of NY to Bill Gates…

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.

3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.

4. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

5. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

6. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, so I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.

7. Please confirm when are you going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are you coming to my home to collect your money.

9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?

Best regards,

Bob

JOKES OF THE DAY!!

1) One man was standing on the top of a building, his watch fell down, but he went to take his watch only afterten minutes-why?
- His watch was ten minutes slow

2) A crow laid egg while it was flying but the egg didn't break, How?
- It was wearing Diapers.

3) Two elephants went inside a sugarcane farm, one ate sugarcane but the other didn't, why is it so
- The other elephant is Diabetic.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Professor reveals secret to building a great blog

Jim Davila recounts a conversation with University of St. Andrews Professor of Biblical Criticism Emeritus, Professor Robert McL Wilson, at an event Saturday celebrating Wilson's 90th birthday. The nonagenarian honoree let slip the secret to both scholarly recognition and building a great blog:

"The best way to get scholarly recognition [is] to publish something that's almost right but is just wrong enough to make people want to argue with you."

Madtv - Apple I-rack

This is a random clip I came across when searching youtube for something else, and although I love everything that is Republican this is still a hilarious clip. It shows both the sometime humerous excesses of synergy that large companies, here it is Apple, try to create and the pokes fun at the strategy used in Iraq. It doesnt get much better than this.